AggieRibbons4MEbanks

Moonlight Sonata

The family of Michael Ebanks
has requested that the memorial page for him include some messages
they received after the loss of their son.
In these messages the real Michael can be seen.

The Ebanks want everyone that sent them mails to know what these mails have meant to them, and say
"Thank you"..

But First..A Letter from The Family to You

Dearest Family and Friends,

What are the odds? With almost 44,000 students at A&M,
what are the odds Michael would be there when the bonfire collapsed?
Knowing his passion for the bonfire, you have to believe the odds were fairly high.

Michael loved the human mind.
He loved to tweak it, and even more so he loved to tickle it.
But he loved the human heart most;
goodness knows he made his way into about a jillion of them.

And he loved life beyond belief, as well as all that went with it.

At Fish Camp the freshmen were asked to write out their goals for the coming school year.
Michael had met all of his: (with our comments)
Make a 3.0 or better (Had a 3.125 at mid-semester.)
Work on Bonfire (Big-time!)
Meet everyone (Well, just about everyone.)
Play on an intramural team (He played football and indoor soccer.)
Get a cool chick (Not just one! In fact, maybe bonfire was one of them.)
Have fun (No denying that!)
Be known (‘Nuff said.)

Michael had accomplished much in life:
entered A&M, earned his private pilot’s license,
taught himself to play the piano,
bought his 1978 International Scout and painted it maroon,
played multiple sports, was a Boy Scout, loved the outdoors,
and was a devoted Christian; the list goes on.
But most importantly he had endeared himself to, and earned the respect
of more people than many of us can imagine.

His short life ended with him happy and doing what he wanted
to do – and saving the lives of two or three others by his warnings.
What more can we ask?

Meanwhile, we are left struggling and mourning.
Let there be no doubt we wonder why our second son has been taken from us.
But we believe God has a plan that we not only may not understand
but also don't even have the opportunity to review beforehand.
We trust He knows what He is doing.

To help ourselves we rely totally on the three “F’s”:
Faith, Family, and Friends; and these are listed in no particular order.
We cannot make it without any of the three.
We thank God we have been blessed overwhelmingly
with all three in both quantity and quality.
We have the support and love we need from uncountable numbers of people,
many of whom we never knew before, to keep us going.
The spoken and written words, the hugs and kisses, the prayers,
and all the other resources bestowed upon us have been incredibly wonderful.
This support and love is both uplifting and humbling.

We miss our son, Michael; and, of course, we miss Keith too.
With a tragedy like this occurring so close to Thanksgiving,
we simply have to say we give thanks for the gift of Michael into our lives.
It’s been a trip!

Thank all of you for everything you have done for our entire family and for Michael.
God bless you all!

We love you,
Bulinda and Jerry Ebanks
Cynthia and Phil Wade

Michael Ebanks: A Victim of the Bonfire Tragedy

It was Wednesday, November 17. I had an animal science quiz the next day and figured I should get some studying done. That day for some reason I felt like studying in the MSC Flagroom. So I trudged over to the MSC, found a couch, plopped down on it and began an attempt to study.

Becoming immediately bored, I began to scan the room for familiar faces. The guy across from me was reading a book, while a man caddie-corner to me was studying some papers rather intently. I watched him for a while, curious to what he was reading until he picked up his stuff, I assumed preparing to leave.

Instead, he took a seat at the piano, set up some music, and began to play. Loving any form of music, especially classical, I was enraptured. After playing about three or four songs, he sat down again – closer to me this time since someone had taken his original seat. I could not resist the urge and told him, “You are really good.” He replied saying he was all right and how he felt bad because some people get upset since the music disturbs their studying. I told him they have no idea what they are missing and that I really did appreciate his music.

He eventually got up and played some more, much to my delight, and when he finished, I again gave him thanks for sharing his talent. After some chit-chat about both of our musical backgrounds, I finally introduced myself and he told me his name was Michael. He had a sparkle in his eye when he talked about his music and I was really impressed. I learned that he was a freshman aerospace engineer. I told him my major and that I was studying for a minor exam in animal science. He kinda grinned and said that he should be doing the same thing since he had two tests tomorrow, one in physics and one in engineering. We talked on and I told him that I would eventually have to take physics. He said it was not that bad. I asked him his grade in there and he said he had an “A” which he immediately downplayed, saying it must be because his teacher was easy.

I asked him if he planned on studying for his tests anymore tonight. Again he smiled and told me more than anything he would probably end up at Bonfire to help with Stack. At that point, I could see the sparkle in his eye again. I asked him about home and he told me he was from the Dallas area and had not been home since he got down here, mainly because he was so busy with Bonfire, which was okay because his sister and her husband had recently moved here. I remember the conversation vividly and after at least an hour I realized I still needed to study. I re-asked him his name to make sure I would remember and he told me he lived in Keathley in FHK. Living on Northside myself, I told him I would probably see him around and left to return to my dorm.

Wednesday passed uneventfully until 4 a.m. my sister called me and told me about the accident. Still asleep, it didn’t register until the alarm went off and the radio news came on, talking about the injuries and the number dead. Like everyone else, I was shocked. I immediately thought about Michael and his complete devotion with Bonfire, but not knowing his last name or even how to reach him, I imagined the likelihood he was there was small and pushed the thoughts away. The death toll began to rise and I was constantly looking at the names, praying a “Michael” would not appear.

That night, along with thousands of other Aggies, I attended the memorial service with a close friend and some people she knew, one of which was an RA at Keathley. I voiced my concern about Michael and was shocked when the RA said that one of his residents named Michael was still unaccounted for. I asked him for tidbits of what he was like, but he could not really recall any. He then described what he looked like, and I was almost sure it was a different person. I once again pushed my fears to the back of my mind. That night I went to Bonfire with my roommate and waited with a lighted candle until the last Aggie was removed. I found out that the Michael from Keathley that had been unaccounted for had been found dead, but I believed it to be a different person.

The next morning I got online to check the current pictures and stories on the incident, including the details of the victims: one, a Michael Ebanks, aerospace engineer, freshman from Carrollton, Texas, who I also knew to be from Keathley. Facts flashed through my head---Michael, aerospace engineer, freshman, Keathley----but there was no picture and I tried to convince myself it was just a coincidence. I was not sure where Carrollton was until I was eating with a good friend and told him about my doubts. My fears were pretty much confirmed when he told me it was located in the Dallas area. One more puzzle piece fell into place. Still I fought the idea and told myself that I could not be sure until I saw a picture.

After two agonizing hours, eased by the strength and presence of my friends, I was told that all the pictures of the deceased were now online. I returned to my dorm, dreading what I would find. He looked different, but I knew it was him and was immediately racked by sobs. I was angry that fate had cruelly introduced me to him, causing me such pain. Then my memory flitted back to our conversation, and I remembered the sparkle in his eye, his love of music, his family, Texas A&M, and Bonfire. I remembered how he had laughed when he said he would not know what to do with his free time once Bonfire was over. At that point I realized I had not been wronged in meeting him but blessed. I talked to Michael only once, but will forever treasure that moment when he touched my heart.

Sara Thornton Class of 2002

"To My Oldest Friend"
By Adam Legg

I do not think I have thought about anything other than Michael since about midnight Saturday morning, as I waited for my 1:30am flight back to Dallas. Up until then I was in shock, and then even during his wake on Sunday I could not believe that all of this had happened. As everyone shared their stories, I kept thinking to myself, "I am going to have to tell Michael this…or ask him about that…the next time I see him." It was not until I walked up to receive communion, and walked past his beautifully cloaked coffin that I knew what had happened. As you, Bulinda gave me a hug and said to me, "Adam, you two grew up together, and he wants you to be strong," I almost lost it. All weekend I had been trying to think of a way to describe Michael, and all of the sudden I knew.

I regret that I cannot call him my best friend, but I am proud to say that he is my oldest friend. As I walked back to my seat all of the things that we had done together flashed through my mind like a slide show. My dad coached us on the same baseball team, the Cardinals, at age seven or eight. He was in my mom's class in third grade. In fourth and fifth grade we were in Boy Scouts together. And finally went to High School together. In addition to all of this, are the years of CCD, and more importantly confirmation that we shared. There is a special bond between all of us who went through confirmation, and I am proud that Michael is a member of that group.

As I thought more, I was amazed at how many things we shared with each other. Whether it be coincidence or fate, Michael and I managed to end up together so many times and for such an array of different reasons. Sports, jobs, Scouts, school, Church basically every different stage of my life has memories of Michael. For fifteen years, Michael has been a part of my life in one way or another.

The one thing that I remember most about Mike from these memories is that Michael did what he wanted. In English class when studying poems, Michael would say such outlandish things as, "Due to the nature of this poem, it is obvious that Ralph Waldo Emerson had webbed feet." Everyone would laugh of course and the teacher would question him, so as to make him look ridiculous. Wrong! Michael would always have something to say that made this obviously idiotic point seem valid. No one could beat Michael; that just did not happen. Michael's confidence could get him anything; nothing was out of reach. And nothing surprised him. Michael was always a few steps ahead of the rest of us. I never saw the guy get caught off guard, he was always prepared, always ready.

So when that stack fell I cannot believe that Michael fell, because Michael never fell. No, Michael flew, he flew right out of that pile of lumber, and he has not come down yet. When I think about him, I am sad because I lost a friend, but a smile crosses my face and shivers run up my neck, in knowing that he is doing the one thing he loved more than anything.

In Michael's death I have learned so many things. I have learned to cherish every conversation, every event, to not care what others think, and most of all to really love life. That is what Michael did best. He cherished life, and in turn, it cherished him. Michael was fearless, we all know the guy would do anything and I admire, and will miss that.

I remember before our confirmation retreat, Michael had been talking for weeks about swimming in the lake and how he would do nothing else the entire weekend. So when we get to the camp site and felt the cold front blow in and the temperature fall to about 35 maybe 40 degrees, needless to say I felt sorry for Michael. But the next morning, as I tease him about the weather he strips down to his boxers, and runs down the hill, and jumps in the freezing cold water. Michael had managed to not only shut me up, but make something as idiotic as jumping into an icy lake not only an entertaining but a glorious act.

I consider myself a very confident person, but Michael's pride swallows mine. All in all, I am sad that I will not be able to say that I grew old with Michael Ebanks, but I will smile and probably cry every time I am privileged to say,
"I grew up with Michael Ebanks."

Mr. And Mrs. Ebanks,

Hi, my name is Catherine Burke, and I am a freshman Engineering major. I had every class with Mike. Although I realize I cannot understand the pain of losing a child, I want you to know that my prayers are with you day and night. I am honored to have known your son. He is honestly one of the most awesome human beings I will ever meet. I will treasure every moment, every instant, I shared with him. I had only met him 3 months ago, but in that short time he touched me deeply.

I want to share with you some things I learned from and loved about your son while he was here at A&M. Mike was the smart-ass in all of our classes. Everyone knew him, and we would all count on him to have a comeback, a funny comeback, to whatever our professors would say. The first night I saw Mike outside of class was at some party. He was the only sober guy there. He watched over me the whole night, and even walked my friends and I back to our dorm. We barely even knew each other, but yet he watched over and took care of 3 slightly intoxicated girls all night. I remember thinking, wow, what a nice guy, I want to be friends with him. I don't mean that in a "junior high" way, I mean I wanted to get to know him better. I could tell he was a special person.

Mike always wore his blue, Wal-Mart, flip-flops to class. Everyday. Just recently they broke, but he explained to us in lab that he couldn't get new ones cuz those had been perfectly molded to his feet. He just duct-taped them. He never took notes in class, and finally one day I asked him how bad his grades were. He reluctantly and modestly told me he aced every Physics exam. Your son was a genius.

I remember how one day at lunch he told me how he was the date-rape moderator for FHK - self-appointed. He told me how he would sit outside the quad and watch over the girls when they would come back from parties and stuff. He would make sure they got in OK and ask them if they really wanted so and so (probably some random guy) to spend the night. He acted like it was a pain for him to protect and take care of these girls, but I knew he loved his self-appointed position. I could see through his mock exasperation, and I knew he really cared deeply about those girls.

I remember how he had a plan to steal the "University Honors" banner off the side/roof of my dorm and hang it up at FHK. It was to be the ultimate dorm prank. I felt like a traitor, but I couldn't tell him no, so I agreed to sneak him in and up onto the roof. Unfortunately, the Honors office took down the banner the night before our adventure.

I remember the night of Nov. 17th. Mike sat behind me during our Engr. Exam (which I'm sure he aced). He said after the exam he was going out to Stack. I remember I told him to be careful. I remember how at 7am the next morning when my Mom called, Mike was the first person I though of. The rest of the day was a horrible test of waiting and wondering.

When I think of your son, these are the things that I think of. My friend and I were discussing whether it was worth meeting and befriending someone just to lose him. How could I ask such a thing? Every minute was worth it. I will never ever forget these memories of such a wonderful person.

I am not exactly sure why I am telling you this. I pray that you can find some comfort in my words. Surely you already know how great Mike was, but I feel an overwhelming need to tell you. He was so special. I want you to know that all my love and prayers are with you both and your family and friends. I thank God for the opportunity to know such a funny, smart, talented and loving person. And I pray to Him to give you strength through your sorrow.

All my love and prayers,

Catherine Burke

A letter to Michael's Sister

December 21, 1999
Cynthia,I got your nice Christmas card and letter about Michael. The letter was so sweet. I just wanted to tell you how much I wish I would have known Michael. I was so completely overwhelmed at Michael’s memorial service by the essence of Michael and the many tributes to him as a person, I just can’t tell you. I just can’t even try to pretend that I could ever understand the pain and mental anguish you and your parents must be going through right now.

I just wanted to let you know that from all I gathered, Michael was indeed a VERY special person. It seemed to me that he had a very old soul. He was enlightened beyond his years and fully understood the secret to life – unlimited boundaries and boundaryless love. It seemed he lived like this from a very young age. If we could all dream like he dreamed and love like he loved, our lives would be as fulfilling as his. I believe he gave many people a chance to reevaluate their own lives and strive to live like he lived – full of vigor and hope and joy.

When his friend, Kelly, got up there and said they were cutting trees and he stopped for a minute just to tell how much he appreciated knowing her and that they would be friends forever … that is just not a thing a typical 19-year-old boy would do!

And there were so many examples of that type of thing from him. I truly believe that he had mastered the secret of life at a very early age and God was ready for him to move on to the next plateau. His body may no longer be here, but everyone’s relationship with him is still there; and I have a feeling that will never disappear. You were very right that you were lucky to have him in your life, and so was everyone else who knew him.

I’m impressed at how you and your parents are handling all of this, and I think he would be too; after all, everyone will be together in the light one day and then we will all know “why.”

You and your family and Michael and Keith are in my prayers; and I am thankful for the opportunity of being touched by his soul, if just through the testimonies and love of the people he knew best. God bless you all and bless you for celebrating his life so well. Our family is strong and will always be here for you anytime you need us.

Warmest regards,Susan

A Letter to Michael from Holly

December 1, 1999

Dear Michael,
I know this seems silly writing a letter to you since you are not able to read it, but I felt like it was the best way to express my thoughts and feelings about your passing.

Tatum and Shannon wanted all the kids in the bridge group to think of a good story about you and write it down. They are then going to compile a book of these memories. I, unfortunately, do not have a story to tell. I have the similar memories of you collecting cans for Space Camp and riding on the back of your father’s boat. I did not want to write the same thing as everyone else. I am sad to say that I did not take the time to properly get to know you. I am sorry for that.

I listened to all the stories at your vigil service, and I really wish I would have known you better. I do remember watching you at church and how you took it seriously. I remember how important your family was to you. I remember how you never changed to please others, even when they were teasing you because you did not fit the norm. I remember how you were never vengeful or mean to those who did not understand you. I admire you for having all these qualities, the qualities of Jesus. I only wish that I could be half the person that you were.

I keep hearing stories about your friendliness and compassion for others at A&M. People that only met you a couple times were deeply affected by you.

Your love for A&M and the stories people told reminded me of my love for A&M that has faded since my sophomore year. It is sad for me that it took a tragedy to remind me how special I am to be connected to such a wonderful school with such wonderful people.

I think to myself whether I have that same impact and my answer is sadly no. You are truly an inspiration. I wish that I could have experienced knowing you better so I could tell you this in person.

I have only recently come back to the church and to God after a long leave of absence. I have come to realize how important God and family are. Your family is so wonderful. They have been so strong and have helped so many get through the pain of losing you. I know it is their faith in God and knowing that your strong faith has led you to Jesus’ side in heaven. I would like to include one of my favorite passages in the Bible that I have been reciting to myself ever since this tragedy has happened. It is from the Book of John.Jesus says:

“Don’t be troubled. You trust God, now trust Me. There are many rooms in my father’s house, and I am going to prepare a place for you. If this were not so, I would tell you plainly. When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with Me where I am. And you know where I am going and how to get there.” John 14:1-4.

This passage, as well as others, has helped me cope with the loss of you as well as the other 11 whom I did not know but am touched by.

I hope this letter will serve some purpose. It has made me feel better and I hope helped your parents know that you have touched so many lives and that you have made an impact on mine. I will strive to be as good a person as you were, and I hope to meet up with you again in the next life where I can get to know you better.

I just wanted you to know that you will never be forgotten,

Sincerely,Holly

Last updated Nov. 2, 2002

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