Santa's Little Traitor

Out on the street, Santa's Little Helper and some other dog's eyes are locked. Both of them are growling at each other and are strafing in a circle. Then suddenly SLH pounces, but after a skunk runs into the circle. SLH sees the skunk, tries to somehow land safely, but falls on the skunk. The skunk sprays that nasty smelling stuff on SLH and now SLH smells really bad. Bart, who was an onlooker, runs to SLH's aid but backs off after figuring out he stinks. A few minutes later, the whole Simpson family is gathered in the street around the stinky dog.

HOMER: Ew. Well, I think we all know what we have to do now. Marge, come on. We're going to get a new dog. Throw this one out, he smells too much. So, who's coming?
ABE: I am! Let's go! I love looking at those poor locked up dogs, with those sad faces! Heheheh. It must be horrible to be put in a bad home where you get no freedom and...
BART: That reminds me, let's send Grampa home. His breath stinks.
HOMER: Bart, Grampa's breath smells fine...oh, what is that...it ain't the dog...ewwww. The boy's right, get him home!
ABE: My breath stinks?! Why I oughtta...(smells his breath) oh, it must be that chocolate pudding Jasper gave me. Boy, that was some good... (falls asleep and wakes up) What? What? What am I doing here?
LISA: Here comes dad. Grampa, just get in. You're going home.
ABE: Alright! Now where's my teeth?
LISA: You're wearing them.
ABE: How did you know that? Were you trying to steal them?
LISA: (sighs) Oh, brother.

Homer drives the car up and everybody gets in the car. Except for Bart.

BART: Can Santa's Little Helper come in the car?
HOMER: Oh, no! He's not stinking up the car, too! Remember how long it took to get the car back to normal after that valet at the health club stinked it up?
BART: Um, dad...the health club doesn't have a valet.
HOMER: Then who was that guy?
MARGE: (frowns) Bart, the dog is not coming in here. Now get in the car, the smell's starting to get in here.
BART: But Grampa smells more!
HOMER: Okay, Gramps, out of the car!
LISA: But how're we going to take him home if he's not in the car?
BART: She's got a point there, Homer.
HOMER: D'oh!
MARGE: Bart, don't worry, we'll be back fast. You can leave him in our yard. Go lock him in the yard.

Bart brings SLH home and puts him in the yard. He runs back to the car, gets in and they drive away.

Scene 2

Out in space, Kang and Kodos are talking in their space ship.

KANG: I say we fly down there and attack. We can use those weapons are commanders gave us.

Kang gets a can from a bag and he starts shooting streamers all over the ship. It sticks to some of the machines and they short.

KANG: Oh, damn.
KODOS: At least we know how deadly it is. Now don't use that in here again. We're not trying to destroy each other.
KANG: Yes, and when we're done with them, they'll never even dream of freedom!

They start laughing hysterically when Kodos stops laughing.

KODOS: Wait, wait, what if they defend themselves? Once they see us, they'll attack us for sure!
KANG: Hmmm, yes, they would, wouldn't they? We need to think of something.
KODOS: Well, what if we...no, that wouldn't work.
KANG: What? What? We're desperate here.
KODOS: Well, okay, but this requires very precise movements. One wrong move can result in the whole plan backfiring...

Scene 3

SLH is sniffing some plants in the Simpsons' yard. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a space alien falls out of the sky and lands right beside SLH. The alien doesn't land well, though, and lies on the ground. He slowly gets up and shakes it off.

KODOS: Ow. I didn't agree to this.

Kodos grabs SLH and a ladder falls down. He jumps on it and is taken up into the spaceship.

Scene 4

The Simpsons car starts driving away from the retirement castle.

HOMER: Boy, I'm so glad we got rid of Grampa. He was starting to make me feel old.

Abe suddenly pops out of the backseat.

ABE: I'm still here. You never let me out.

Homer stops the car.

HOMER: D'oh! Ah, get out, get out!

Abe gets out of the car.

HOMER: And take your shoes with you!
ABE: What're shoes? And...

Homer drives off.

The camera then focuses on Grampa who is standing in the middle of Bumtown.

ABE: Hey, wait a minute... this isn't the retirement home. I don't know where I am. Hmm, what if I...ah, crap.

Scene 5

Kodos is returned to the ship with a tentacle wrapped around SLH.

KANG: What the hell is that?! You were supposed to capture an earthling!
KODOS: Oh, quit nagging me! This...thing was the only thing around! And besides, he smells really nice.
KANG: Well...I'll give you that. Anyway, get it into suspended animation so it can be bio-duplicated.
KODOS: There. Kang, begin the bio-duplication!

Kodos is suddenly transformed into SLH.

KANG: Lookin' good! Here, lemme set you down to the ground...

Kodos falls from the sky and lands right in the Simpsons' backyard. Kodos suddenly jumps to his feet once he hears a car pull into the driveway.

Scene 6

The Simpsons enter their house. HOMER: Oh, finally no Grampa!

Abe walks into the house.

ABE: Hello.
HOMER: How the hell do you keep coming back?
ABE: What are shoes?

Homer shudders and closes the door on Abe.

HOMER: Well, that's the end of that.
BART: I'm gonna go give Santa's Little Helper a bath, now.
MARGE: Bart, don't do it in the house! Wash him in the yard.
BART: Okay.

Bart runs into the yard to find Santa's Little helper pacing back and forth.

BART: Come on boy! I got tomato sauce! We'll have you smelling normal in a second.

Bart turns on the house and starts spraying SLH. Then he takes the tomato sauce and dumps it on SLH. Bart grabs a sponge and starts giving him a bath. Then SLH's skin starts falling off to reveal green.

BART: Ahhhhhh!!!!

Kodos breaks out of the disguise and a hideous space alien emerges from the bathtub.

KODOS: Ha ha ha! Foolish earthling! Your screaming will do nothing!

Bart grabs the soap and sponge and anything else he can find and starts throwing it at Kodos.

KODOS: Hey! Stop it! Stop it! Ah! Ow! Ooh! Eee! Ahh! Hey! Stop it! I'll do anything you say!

Scene 7

Bart and Kodos are in his room and Bart is under control. Suddenly they hear a knock on the bedroom door.

HOMER: Bart your mother says she hears you talking to someone. Who're you talking to?
BART: Um...Santa's Little Helper.
HOMER: Oh, okay. Marge, he was only talking to Santa's Little Helper. Okay, son, you're free to go.

Then suddenly Kodos knocks Bart on the ground and shoots silly string at him. Then he runs for the door, down the stairs, past the rest of the family, and out the door.

HOMER: Lookin' good, Bart! Excercise is important.

Homer grabs a lot of fatty food and starts eating it. Then Abe walks into the room.

ABE: There's a space alien in your house!
HOMER: What? Lemme eat in peace! Why don't you go get'em for me, dad? You need the excercise. Excercise is important, doncha know.

Homer continues eating. Then Bart runs past him and after Kodos. Kodos runs outside and suddenly a spaceship emerges from the clouds. It picks Kodos up and flies away. But due to bad flying, it crashes into a TV satellite and...*static*