Yet Another Comics Site

NWJ: Some people claim that Watchmen is the most well written comic book of all time. Here to discuss that with me today are three of its stars. The Comedian.

Comedian: ...

NWJ: Ozymandias.

Ozymandias: Present and accounted for. Uhh, is the Comedian supposed to smell like that?

NWJ: Probably. And of course, Dr. Manhattan.

Doc: I am everywhere. Or nowhere. Here is an illusion.

NWJ: In addition, we've got three other major comics characters. Wolverine.

Wolvie: I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do isn't pretty.

NWJ: How clever. Then we've got the lovely Abby Chase.

Abby: Hi.

NWJ: And finally, the silver age Superman.

Clark Kent: Uhh, that should read Superman.

NWJ: Right. Sorry. So, the issue at hand is writing. Care to start us off, Ozymandias?

Ozymandias: Certainly. Well, as I'm well aware, the most important aspect of anything is the plotting, and Moore works wonders there, creating an intricately woven series of narratives that form a larger tapestry.

Doc: Does he? Or did the tapestry already exist, and his hand merely followed its pre-ordained routes.

Comedian: ...

Wolvie: I'm gonna have to disagree there, bub. Plotting is all about settin' up fight scenes.

Ozymandias: Surely you can't believe that violence could ever be more than a regrettable necessity?

Wolvie: I'm saying it sells books.

The Last Son of Krypton: Actually, just Superman would be fine. My point, though, is that I have to disagree with this clawed fellow. Violence never solves anything that couldn't be accomplished by a cute animal in a cape.

Ozymandias: So do you agree that plotting is important?

Doc: Miss Chase, that remark was not at all appropriate.

NWJ: Huh?

Ozymandias: You get used to it. Right, Comedian?

Comedian: ...

The Man of Tomorrow: Really, Superman is fine. And no, plotting isn't that important. I mean, a few standby plots can literally pass decades. Even when you've got multiple titles. Lois thinks she's got proof that I'm this Kent fellow, for example. I must have gone through that one hundreds of times.

Wolvie: And these <Snikt> will go through you hundreds of times, bub.

Ozymandias: Uhh, what do you think is the key to writing a good comic, Miss Chase?

Abby: Comics are written? Gee, when did they start with that?

The Action Ace: I give up. Well, don't you think that the secret to writing a good comic is to take a tried and true story element and paint it a different colour?

Doc: I'm afraid he can't do that, Adrian. Even the writer can't control these characters.

Ozymandias: What are you talking about? Can't you see that multiple plotlines, symbolism, characterization, all mean something?

Abby: I got your plotlines here right next to your symbolism. And the characterization is a little lower.

Ozymandias: Fine? It's sex you want? Well, we've got explicit stuff. You can keep your little soap bubbles, we've got actual nudity.

Wolvie: Now yer talkin'.

The Metropolis Kid: Wait a second. Women should all be shown in a dignified manner, preferably wearing pillbox hats.

Abby: Do I have to be wearing anything else?

The Smallville Sensation: I beg your pardon?

Ozymandias: For the love of God, NWJ, can you please bring this back on topic.

NWJ: Oh, that's what Dr. Manhattan was talking about. And I'm afriad he's right. You're the smartest man in the world, Adrian. You do something.

Ozymandias: But you can't reason with a crazed berzerker, or manipulate someone who can't be permanently changed after a single issue ends.

Comedian: ...

Abby: Say, you're kind of cute in that purple toga.

Ozymandias: Motifs. Heh heh. Motifs. Watchmen had lots of motifs. Hiroshima lovers. Heh heh. Smiley faces.

Half the World's Finest: Smiling faces of citizens who can rest secure in the notion that their heroes will always watch out for them. I applaud you, Ozymandias, for caring about your prople that much. I'm glad to know that no one need fear in... wherever you are.

Ozymandias: Twist endings are always a sign of a good story, right? Watchmen has a great twist ending.

Jimmy Olsen's Pal: Does it turn out that you and Dr. Manhattan have switched places, and are wearing rubber face masks?

Ozymandias: Uhh, no.

Abby: I've never actually had an ending, since we're still on the first storyline.

Wolvie: Endings are for wimps, bub. Pile on the dangling subplots, that's a real strategy for you.

Ozymandias: Right. How about parallel plotlines? Pirate comics. Parallel plots. I'm cracking up.

Wolvie: Endless subplots all going on at once. I got that, bub. In spades.

Ozymandias: No, that's not what I meant.

Abby: Wait, what's a "plot"? I don't think I understand the word.

Doc: It's over at long last.

NWJ: Uhh, not yet. Still got some space left to fill.

Ozymandias: A realistic interpretation of how superhumans might have affected life on Earth. Do you people have that?

Lois Lane's Boy Toy: Sure, we show everything right with the world, and foiling the occasional bald super-villain.

Wolvie: I'm hated and feared by a world I've sworn to protect.

Abby: I look good in little clothing.

Ozymandias: I give up. None of you would know writing if it hit you on the head.

NWJ: Well, I guess that's all the time we have today. So long everyone.

Ozymandias: Finally.

Abby: Bye bye.

Doc: New York or Antarctica, depending how you look at it.

Wolvie: Good. I've got six cross-overs to do this month.

A bird, a plane: I'm pleased to say this whole thing has literally had no effect on me.

Comedian: ...