The Diary

I travel from place to place and search much the way I watch the turnings of my mind and seek. I'm rarely still, within or without. Am I going to find it? A panacea for the world's happiness. I don't know, perhaps it's not in my hands. Kai sara sara - this is a travelogue of the pursuit.

     So in other words, this is what I've been doing. It begins with me in Kathmandu around October 1999, and continues to the present day. Earlier entried were part of my main site and are available here.

    Much of the text is illustrated by thumbnails, which you're welcome to use for non-commercial use. They're available here. Click on any picture to see it full size.

     I"m always so busy, but I'll do my best to keep this current, and hey, if I find it you'll be reading about me everywhere!

Have I wasted five months of my life? As my problems overwhelm me I fall asleep praying - and see my prayers answered the very next day.

At Kathmandu Airport, some may speculate that my behaviour indicates mental illness.

I arrive safely in Varinessi, North India, where using a guest-book to advertise my website backfires.

The day I left for New Delhi started well, after a fascinating encounter with a toy-seller. Yet Lady Luck deserts me as I'm robbed on the train, and lose almost all of my possessions

In Delhi, I conclude I'm better off with nothing, now I would be free. Perhaps I was relieved of my burdens by an angel?

     As a painful anniversary approaches, I set off for Islamabad.

In Amritsar, I spend the anniversary in the holiest temple of the Sikh religion, then am inspired by the revelation of how each person's 'hotspots' torture the human race - and how we might cure ourselves.

     I also manage to keep my temper with an over-zelous bank official.

The boder of Pakistan/India is anarchy. Islamic women have a punch-up. My bed collapses in Lahore - and I make it to the capital.

A friendly taxi driver explains why the recent coup is good, and that democracy is 'just a word'.

     I realise my vegetarianism is going to be a problem.

     And the supposed puritanism od the people around me falls flat.

     Lastly, I could have been killed when a terorist rocket attack occours just 100 meters away.

A Sikh festival leaves me confused and offended.

     The Bihar tourist board almost leaves me sleeping on the streets.

    I meet an interesting man on the way to Bodhgaya, the place where the Buddha obtained enlightenment and wghere I'd decided to spend New Year.

     I miss my stop and spend hours trapped in a surreal purgatory, my mind torturing me with regrets.

Walking roung the mahabodi Temple, the holiest spot to the Buddhists, Tibetans pray for world peace. Stars shoot into the sky. My watch beeps - it's midnight.

New Years Day. Western Momks that just don't get it. Weird Tibetans on the train to Delhi are a little too familiar. A terrifying teddy in Delhi ... and in Goa a miricle.

My family discover e-mail. Stray dogs don't link me. Mysterious men. A pathetic attempt to revive my "career". And the day I leave for Delhi, a broken heart, tears and the monsoon arrives.

In Delhi, my brain chemistry imbalances and I lie in a darkened room for too many days. I get it together for my 29th birthday, and decide to go to Bangladesh. At the embassy I manage to avoid an eccentric Ditch man. A dead human feutus lies discarded in the gutter. I make it to Calcutta.

The first leg of the journey to Dhaka, Bangladesh. I get lost at the station and who helps me but... the Dutch eccentric I had two weeks ago avoided at the embassy in Delhi. We travel on together, and going over the border I start to realise he's a little more complicated than I had anticipated. We "connect" in an expensive Thai restaurant. He leaves for a monastery. My Indian visa is refused and I have to leave for Chittagong to apply there. A Canadaian reminds me how crippled I am. I end up accidentally living in a brothel. I try all the best restaurants in town. Then a bus, rickshaw, bus, another bus, rickshaw, an auto and a train get me back to India. I witness another miricle concerning a bat (the kind that flys) and a wailing lunatic welcomes me home - to my India.

Hassled by professional beggars, Robin gets in touch, I write 10000 words, only half good, and can't sell any of it. And, just spend far too much time there without achieving very much at all.





16 - Calcutta to Delhi, and starting a new project (at last)

A lynching in Varinessi; I'm cursed in Goddess of destruction ritual by an irate shopkeeper; the desolute death bed of the Buddha; and I make it to New Delhi.

Abused by the police going north, finish the New project, send it from delhi and no one wants to buy it. Up to Nepal and back. One huge circle.

NEW, a fresh laytout and format. More attractive and better layout, the diary continues here -- but in log format. So no descriptions here, the entires are dated and written on-going. This will be much better as they're shorter and easier to complete.

Just in case you're really, really, really interested in my inner as well as outer life, I've added a new page called Confessions. It was written to a friend during a time of severe depression and and gives the dirt on the events in my past that led to total insanity (or if you want to be quaint, we could say slight eccentricity but I'd say that was just kidding ourselves personally).

The whole unedited text of the above is available here. It's so damn big and boring (like me) so I don't recommend it. But if you're a glutton for mindless bordom... please come and marry me.